i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
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He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
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I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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