I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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