I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
He uses pillows to masturbate.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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