I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Your penis caused this!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize