I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
