margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
