the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
