I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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