we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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