how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
