I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
