Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
