What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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