on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
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