Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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