I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
