Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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