There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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