Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
