i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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