I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
