either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
