And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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