Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
