Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize