I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
