"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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