He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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