i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
