I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
