Porn is love you can see.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
