Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
