you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
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