And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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