I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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