What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
