she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize