Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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