cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
