Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
