OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
