I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize