Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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