We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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