you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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