whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
