I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
