I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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