I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
