clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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