In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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