do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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