Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
