Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
