where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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