just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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