barbara walters just said penis...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
