after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
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Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
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It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize